TFLN 3

(630): Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
(513): sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
(513): i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
(762): Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
(803): so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
(623): she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
(506): it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
(703): i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
(401): the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
(513): He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
(972): You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"