TFLN 3

(630): Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
(513): sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
(513): i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
(762): Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
(803): so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
(623): she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
(506): it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
(703): i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
(401): the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
(513): He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
(972): You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"

Fails 3

I Like Turtles

All he wants is his booze

The troops sure are brave

What could possibly go wrong

Fails 2

Here are some more fails to make you feel better about yourself.

TFLN 2

(+44): You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
(407): He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
(801): so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
(215): you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
(925): Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
(301): We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
(570): does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
(252): Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
(847): so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
(720): just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
(740): Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does

Imagine going through middle school with this name.

Forklift Fail

Chinese Clock repair...

Is she really that oblivious?

Could you spell that for me?

TFLN 1

A few highlights from TFLN

(305): Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
(816): She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
(856): FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
(715): I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
(785): if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
(864): you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
(541): Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
(505): Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
(+44): why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
(517): every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
(651): Could a canary swim?
-(952): Last time I ever let you pet sit.
(425): Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.

Kicked in the face

There are few things in this world more entertaining then watching someone kick something in the face. So i scoured the web and found my favorite face-kicking videos.

Fails

Feel like you are a failure? These should make you feel better about yourself.

Verizon math fail

If you don't understand what the issue is... GO KILL YOURSELF... or get a job at verizon

WTF moment

funniest kids on youtube

Best Twitters to follow

Anyone here have a twitter. Follow this relatively unknown twitter user. Imrlycrazy. Better known as the crazy devil they will update you on what crazy things they are doing and seeing right now. Also you may have seen a tweet in a previous post from this Hellen Keller. Make sure you also have the regular F my life to make you feel better about how bad your life sucks. Follow these to get a good laugh for every new update.

De-Motivators

Check out some of these great de-motivators.

Anyone know a magic spell?

I was recently browsing through fail blog when I cam across something a amazing. It was a screenshot of a yahoo answers page displaying the question does anyone know how to make the mermaid spell work faster.
Amazed by this i quickly went to yahoo answers and typed in spells expecting to get a few hits. There are just over 263,000 questions relating to spells on yahoo. I took the time to give you some of the highlights.

What sort of rituals and spells could I carry out using a white candle?

White is an universal colour, you could do everything you want... I think you could just charge your white candle, focus on your topic, and light it.
Maybe to attract something good in your life.

What mermaid spell only works on full moon you can choose your color tail and you can choose your power?

my response: now they're just gettng picky.

Others Response:
I think i know a spell. I am pretty sure it goes like this...
ABRA KADABRA!
This must be yelled at the top of your lungs, while standing on the beach at night on a full moon. Wearing the traditional shell necklace of a king mermaid obtained from your local mermaid emporium.

Where can i find a reverse Spell that can undo the mermaid spell?

I'm curious whether they are a mermaid now and are trying to assimilate themselves back into human society or whether they found some hot mermaid and want to make them human

Just a Bonus:
I found this as one of the comments on mermaid spells. I'm 98% sure this guy has been on or will be on "to catch a predator"

Hellen Keller on twitter

Sleepwalking Dog

Demonic Doll

thata boy son

WKUK Call of Duty

Video By the whitest kids you know. The funny thing is this is what it's really like

Knock Knock

This video is made by one of my favorite comedy groups, pete and brian

Powerthirst 2

Powerthirst

Halloween Texts from last night

(253): You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!

(614): Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?

(928): Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.

(480): you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.

(617): The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.

(516): I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory

(203): I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.

(954): you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.

(201): its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..

(919): Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.

(571): Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.

(415): I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?

(513): You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.

(720): I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...

(413): Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?

(252): I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.

(256): we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.

Welcome

Welcome to Unrelated Funny.