Halloween Texts from last night

(253): You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!

(614): Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?

(928): Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.

(480): you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.

(617): The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.

(516): I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory

(203): I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.

(954): you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.

(201): its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..

(919): Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.

(571): Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.

(415): I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?

(513): You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.

(720): I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...

(413): Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?

(252): I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.

(256): we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.